I live in Long Beach, California. We’ve been on lockdown for almost a month now. In the beginning, everyone thought this was a small hiccup in the road, that everything would be back to normal in no time. Then things got worse.
It’s easy to be sad or even angry when everything you had planned has been stripped away. But we have to remember that this isn’t personal. If anything, it’s giving us more reason to be united. So many of us have lost our jobs. So many of us are worried about how rent will get paid. And the ones who have their jobs are worried about getting infected and spreading COVID even more. It’s a scary time for everyone.
For the first time in a long time, the whole world feels each other’s pain. People can brush off catastrophes if it’s not affecting them. But this time, we’re all in this together. As sad as this pandemic is, there’s nothing more beautiful than seeing everyone standing together. This is such a rare sight that we get to experience. For once, we aren’t fighting over politics, money or religion. And even though we all have our different opinions and views, we’ve set them aside to stand with one another.
We’re becoming more thoughtful, caring, responsible and empathetic toward strangers. We’re tapping into our creative sides and bringing more beauty and art into the world. We’re giving our bodies and the Earth a well-deserved and long-overdue rest.
Accepting What Can’t be Controlled
One thing that I’ve been constantly working on self-improving is my reaction to what cannot be controlled. It’s not easy, especially when I’ve really ingrained in my mind that I can do ANYTHING I want and nothing and no one will stop me. I’ve always felt in control, and for the most part, I am. But now I’m adjusting my thoughts to, “I can do anything I want and nothing and no one will stop me, but there may be some roadblocks in the way, and I have to adjust accordingly.”
“The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance.” – Alan Watts
At first, I was falling into a bit of depression over this. Before this breakout, I felt like I had finally gotten my life on the right track. I was finishing school, I found a way to incorporate my passion with my work field, I had my dream internship lined up, I was completing my marketing portfolio that I was so proud of and I was planning on moving out of my parent’s home by late summer. I was getting ready to embark on my journey to true adulthood – full independence.
And just like that, I became jobless, my pole studio (which is basically my second home and gives me a reason to smile every day) shut down and even permanently closed one location and I had to accept the fact I’m going to be living at home for longer than intended (and longer than my parents intended too… sorry guys!) I get that my problems are small compared to so many, but that doesn’t minimize my pain. Everything that has brought me happiness and meaning was taken away from me. But so what? It’s not personal. All we can do is accept change and go with the motions.
“Okay, this is what’s happening. What can I do about it?”
I allowed myself to be sad for a while. For about a week I did nothing but lay in bed and watch videos to distract myself. It’s okay to be sad, as long as you don’t let yourself fall in too deep. I would’ve preferred not wallowing in bed for that long but it’s what I needed at that time. I pulled myself up to give myself a pep talk. I can’t stop COVID from destroying lives, but I can adjust my life to fit this new world and use this break to my advantage.
I got back to focusing on my website and on what truly makes me happy. I got back into the swing of eating healthier foods. I got back into doing yoga. I started committing myself to learn a second language. I spent more time outside (in our backyard, don’t worry!) with my family and beloved pets. I started working on my vision board. I started taking the steps to stay focused on my dreams and goals.
My Website
Launching A World of Honey was one of my biggest goals that I set for myself before the outbreak. My goal was to have the website live on March 21st in honor of the start of Aries season aka my birthday season. But once this all went down, I was incredibly unmotivated. I also felt it could come across insensitive to be blogging during a world pandemic, especially if my main focus is pole dancing and all pole studios are closed. But I also knew I would regret not launching it when I had the chance. So, if this does offend anyone, I hope you can understand where I’m coming from.
Since I missed my deadline of March 21st, my goal is to have the blog live on April 8th, my birthday! I’m spending my birthday in quarantine, but I also feel this may just be my best birthday yet. I’m gifting myself something priceless – the planting of the seed.
All This to Say…
I know we keep seeing everywhere people trying to encourage one another to take advantage of this time off. To start that one thing that they kept holding off. And yes, I think encouragement is good, but I also think people need to do what their body is telling them to do. If you need a rest, take a rest. Don’t feel pressured to start a new project or goal. In our normal day-to-day lives, we’re constantly being pressured. There’s no reason to keep that going if it feels toxic to you.
Do what makes your heart happy. If that’s laying around watching movies, I truly see nothing wrong with that. People create movies for a reason and there’s nothing to feel guilty about if you’d rather sit and enjoy them. You’re still taking in art and getting inspired. If you’ve been itching to cut your bangs, do it! If it looks horrible, it’ll be grown back out by the time social distancing is over! This is the time to just do whatever you want – totally guilt-free.
I hope everyone is staying strong, maintaining distance from others and boosting your immune systems. There will always be things out of our control. The only thing we have true power over is our reaction.
xx
Related: For a Moment, I Felt Nothing… It Was Nice
