Below is a video of me discussing the blog post below!
I know there are going to be pole dance instructors who will read this blog and maybe have their guards up, but I think this is an important topic because once instructors are far along in their pole journey, they may forget what it felt like to be new to pole. And when you’re new to pole, I would argue that a kind instructor is more important than anything else.
This blog came to me when I noticed my very first pole instructor was teaching a level 1-2 pole class that I was able to attend. I haven’t been able to take classes with her once I progressed past intro pole classes and I’ve honestly missed her energy a lot! It was her class that made me realize just how important kind instructors are. I would shout this instructor out, but she’s not on social media.
When I took my first pole class, I will never forget all of the different emotions I felt. I was nervous, anxious, insecure, shy, excited, and more. When a student is feeling all of these emotions, it’s so important to have an instructor who is fit to handle those energies. And really, all it takes is being kind. Pole is more mental than anything else, so having a kind and encouraging personality is enough to make the new student feel calm and continue giving pole a try even if they can’t get any moves right their first week.
I didn’t realize how lucky I was to have my first instructor! Her energy was contagious and she really made everyone in the room feel beautiful in their own skin. The room was filled with laughter and everyone cheering each other on! It was the first time I’ve been in a room full of women who really uplifted each other. It was beautiful! I took a handful of classes with her and only tried one or two different instructors that first two weeks of me trying pole. That’s when I realized not everyone has that skill that my first instructor had.
When I was maybe one week into pole dancing, I took a class with a different instructor and I felt the complete opposite. This instructor maybe was just not in the best mood and had to teach class, understandable. She didn’t introduce herself to the class, she seemed annoyed, and would ignore everyone except the one girl in the class who was a regular. I vividly remember having trouble with one of the moves and that instructor looked at me and said “good” when it was clearly not the move at all. It wasn’t personal, she treated everyone this way. It was obvious she wasn’t in the headspace to teach that day, but it was so uncomfortable that I genuinely believe if that was my first pole class experience, I would’ve never tried pole dancing again. And even though I have the emotional intelligence to understand it wasn’t personal and that she was probably having a bad day, I still have yet to ever sign up for one of her classes again. One was plenty!
When a new student is already feeling insecure and nervous, the worst thing to do to them is to ignore them and make them feel like an annoyance. Again, this isn’t meant to bash instructors. I get that we all have bad days and we can’t always put on a good face, all I’m saying is be aware that there may be someone in your class who you’ll negatively affect with your bad mood. What you decide to do with that information is yours.
I think this kindness is more critical in Intro or Beginner pole classes, but of course, it’s a great trait to embody in any level of pole you teach. Even if you know all the students in the room, there still will be at least one new person popping through, so just remember that. When beginner students are still feeling emotions of insecurity or failure, it’s important to have an instructor who can help bring out their confidence.
You might be thinking, “I shouldn’t have to always put on this face” and sure, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. But, it’s still your job to teach people pole, and it’d be wise to be kind and keep your students coming back, especially considering how expensive pole classes are. I personally wouldn’t pay a dime to feel insecure and ignored. If you aren’t capable of teaching without showing patience and kindness to the students, then maybe teaching is not for you. You could be teaching pole, english, or math, but everybody remembers the really nice teacher and the really rude ones. It’s up to you to decide where you’ll be placed in students’ minds.
It feels strange to be in a pole community that preaches acceptance and kindness if there are many people out there who feel excluded and rejected when in an actual pole class. There are people who tried pole and had a bad first experience and never touched the chrome again after that, which is really unfortunate. In order for people to really understand what’s so special about pole, we have to actively be kind and uplifting to beginners pole students.
I’m open to any feedback if you’re an instructor or student! My DMs are always open 🙂
Happy poling!
